Daffodils

They aren't my favorite flower but I love them even if they sometimes make me want to cry.

Daffodils in the forest (photo by author)

Daffodils are one of my favorite hallmarks of spring in the northern part of the United States. Depending on how far north or south you are the showy yellow blooms may bloom in March or April, sometimes even May. They aren't my favorite flower, but seeing them makes me smile because they remind me of Sandra.

We were living in southeast Missouri at the time and she was about 10 or 11 when she brought me some of the first blooms of spring. A previous occupant of our new home had planted a circle of daffodils around the base of a large live oak tree on the front lawn. I could see them when I looked out the window of my home office.

I don't remember the exact conversation we had, just the shy, sweet smile on her face, the pink blush of her rounded cheeks as she handed them to me, and the flush of joy and warmth in my heart as I thanked her and hugged her. It is a memory that is so sweet, and yet so sharp as to pierce my heart. It is the memory of feeling loved by my child in such a pure and simple way. It is another one of those bittersweet memories that fills me with both joy and pain - joy for having had her and pain for having lost her. This memory of Sandra's innocent love for me just because I was fortunate enough to be her mother sometimes brings me to tears.

Daffodils by Alessandra’s stone (photo by author)

I never planted daffodils before Sandra died. We have lived in a couple of houses where previous owners had planted them. They were always a welcome and appreciated surprise when they bloomed in the spring. Since Sandra's death I have been planting them every fall. At first I only planted them around her stone in the forest, but a couple years ago I started planting them near my house.

Last week, my sister-in-law dug up several of the flowers from her yard for me to transplant to my home garden. Her mother had planted them and that makes them even more special. I planted them at the ends of the grapevine trellises across the driveway. My plan is to surround the house with these sunny blooms so that I can see them from every door or window of the house, because even though I know in my heart that she is always with me, it’s always nice to have a cheerful reminder.

Daffodils in the garden (photo by author)